You don’t have to check in with someone to check up on someone. If you’re wondering how someone is doing you can look them them up on social media versus actually reaching out to talk with them about what’s new in their lives. There you’ll get a glimpse of how they’re doing without ever having to ask them personally. Which means, if it’s connection you’re craving, you might be tricked into thinking you’re keeping up with what friends or family are up to- when in reality you haven’t actually spoken in weeks, months, or sometimes even years.
You’re tempted to compare and despair. More than ever before we can portray an image of ourselves that isn’t entirely the full picture. Who wants to post picture of screaming babies and divorce court? Instead, we gloss over the hard things going on in our lives and post smiling faces, vacations, our best Sunday dresses and so on. I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with that- unless, it’s your only impression of what other’s lives are actually like.
Shopping for perfection. Options seem limitless when it comes to what to watch on TV, to what to order in for take-out with ever-present options of the internet. And, this extends to the dating game to what church to attend. No one just accepts whatever the first option available is anymore, and so we shop around for churches and life mates. Passing on community opportunities or relationship options the way we flip through TV channels when there are too many options.
So, slow down. Remind yourself that what you see is not necessarily the full picture. Remind yourself that real connections with people trump creepy Facebook stalking. And, remind yourself that people are worth giving a chance- even when what you see on paper might be a little out-of-the-box for your usual house of worship or date-night partner.