The 5 Developmental Stages of ‘Make Your Own’ Pizza

Amorphous Blob. At this stage, pizza is in it’s earliest stage of development. Dough has been played with until it is a sticky, indiscernible (and possibly depending on who you ask) an inedible mess. Pizza dough at this stage is simply placed onto the baking sheet with no regard for pizza design, ingredient proportions, flavor combinations, or final taste.

Amorphous Blob Starting to Resemble Something. At this stage of development, pizza is still an amorphous blob, but the pizza maker may have had an idea of something they wanted to design when creating it. Some semblance of the pizza maker’s vision may be evident at this stage of development. Example: Turtle, by Grant, 2.

Noun pizza. Pizza at this stage of development has been fashioned to resemble a person, place, or thing. Examples include: Grandpa Stinkerpot (a popular choice), Ginger (our dog, another popular choice), or a Dr. Suess character like the infamous ‘Pop’ of Hop on Pop.

Culinary experiment pizza. At this stage of development, pizza is starting to emerge as decidedly more edible. Pizza makers are starting to consider flavor combinations they actually enjoy when assembling their pizzas. Flavor fusions and unusual pizza presentations are part of this stage of development.

Resembles store-bought pizza. At this stage of development, pizza makers are only concerned with taste and flavor profiles. Pizza is fashioned after store-bought or take-out options and is rounded to fit on a pizza pan. Ingredients don’t vary, because pizza makers are old, tired, parental types and just want to enjoy their predictable yet delicious meal.

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