The Loves of My Life

I wish I could take a picture of Harper’s star-crossed, innocent eyes, right before she lays a big slobbery kiss on my lips.

I wish I could keep Grant’s feet all big and Hobbit-like.  Chubby, squishy, smooth, and creamy white.

I wish I could bottle up my little Avery bounding through the door each day- with what seems like energy for days.  Jumping, running, and yelling at the top of her lungs right until the moment when her head hits the pillow.  Her face so peaceful, so captured by a dream, an earthquake wouldn’t wake her.

I wish I could turn to look at Norah’s face and always see the hollowed out places where teeth have fallen out.  The gap-ey toothed grin of a little girl coming into her own. Half grown-up-looking in her determined stare; half little girl, with a ragged, worn, blanket, still dragging behind her lanky, growing frame.

Time is getting away from me.  I feel it in my own body: the beginnings of wrinkles and little aches and pains.  The passing of years harder and harder to distinguish from one another.

But, most of all, I see it in them.  And I want every good thing for them.  A full, long, happy, healthy life. Including growing up-even if it means moving away from me.  Knowing freedom, and challenge, and the truest of loves.  I want it all for them…

But I also want NOW to last forever.  Because I see it, moving faster and faster away from me.

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Their childhood, our family, our life. Under one roof.  Huddled around one table. Cuddled onto the couch.  Crammed into one car.  The loves of my life.  Here.  With me.  Each day. Now.

Norah chose me as the guest of honor for her special Valentine’s lunch at school.  I brought a vase of flowers, champagne flutes with sparking lemonade and a table cloth.  She and her bestie were thrilled.
These shoes unexplainably almost always make me want to sob. G is growing so fast.
Love him.
Harper pretending to be asleep when I went to unbuckle her from her carseat the other day.  I love that she knew this was joke.
Avery wrote us this sweet Thank You note all on her own. This is the good life, folks.

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